Pregnancy Week 35 - Various Questions for Yom Kippur

Hello, I am at week 35 of my pregnancy and I have a few questions: 1. How strict should I be? I am already feeling contractions and cramps - how severe should it be to drink in portions? 2. What exactly should I pray for? What is most important (if possible, detailed)? 3. I am afraid that I have not repented enough, and I am not the one giving charity, but my husband is, and prayer - I do not go to the synagogue and I am afraid of the consequences of all this... 4. Am I allowed to pray and make various requests when I feel all of number 4? Am I allowed to pray for a good year, livelihood, health, and life, in my own words, even when I know I am so far and lack the strength to even begin doing teshuva?

Hello 

1. Since you are experiencing contractions and cramps, you should drink in portions. That means 40 cc every 9 minutes. It is preferable to drink grape juice or other fruit juices that contain vitamins and sugars, not just liquid. 

2. As much as possible. It's important to remember that fasting is more important than prayers. Your health and the health of the fetus are also more important than anything. Therefore, you must not pray in a way or amount that weakens you. Say what you feel you have the strength for, and rest the remainder of the time. 

3. The main repentance is regret, confession, and acceptance for the future. On a basic level, this should not take more than a few minutes. Say the confession and regret those transgressions you know you have committed. And accept upon yourself to strive not to commit them again. The minimal confession is the words, 'But we and our fathers have sinned'. The detailing of 'Ashamnu Bagadnu' and 'Al Chet' is not mandatory. 

Regarding your difficult feeling that you are not doing enough, I feel the need to elaborate a bit because the question is very painful to me.

First of all, you are mistaken. Your husband gives charity from both of your funds, and there is no need for you to do it with your own hands... Also, a woman is not required to go to the synagogue, nor is she obligated to the full text of the prayer, so there is no demand on you in this regard. 

But your mistake is at the core of the question! You feel that you 'are not doing enough' while you are currently engaged in the most important and precious mitzvah of bringing a Jewish child into the world. And if this situation weakens you and prevents you from doing the mitzvot and prayers you want, you are considered 'engaged in a mitzvah', exempt from other mitzvot. Hashem is very happy with the fact that you are engaged in His mitzvah, knows and understands your difficulty, and does not demand anything beyond that from you. 

4. After reading answer 3, you understand that the question is really out of place! You, who are engaged every moment day and night in this difficult and precious mitzvah, are the one who is worthy to ask for yourself, for your family, and for all of Israel.

If you do not have the strength to say the text of the prayer, do not adhere to specific words. Prayer is a request from Hashem, do it in your own words.  Even a few words of such precious prayer can save all of Israel from all its troubles. 

Wishing you a good and blessed year