Selichot by Phone

Hi, my wife wants to say Selichot; however, she needs to be home with the kids. Is there any way she can recite the Selichot while I go to shul and she listens by telephone, and would that be considered as saying it with a minyan?

Thank you for your question.

The Answer:
Yes! By listening to the Selichot via telephone, it is considered as saying it with a minyan, so she may even say Hashem Hashem and Machay u’Masay just like when you daven with a minyan.

The answer explained:

Hashem Hashem…

The Mechaber, siman 965, writes that Hashem Hashem is called a davar she’bikdusha, and therefore it is like Kaddish and Kedusha, which may only be said with a minyan.

The reason we consider it a davar she’bikdusha is actually very interesting and also shows what a great tefillah this is.

Let’s look at the Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashanah, it says the most amazing thing:

תלמוד בבלי מסכת ראש השנה דף יז עמוד ב

ויעבר ה' על פניו ויקרא, אמר רבי יוחנן: אלמלא מקרא כתוב אי אפשר לאומרו, מלמד שנתעטף הקדוש ברוך הוא כשליח צבור, והראה לו למשה סדר תפלה. אמר לו: כל זמן שישראל חוטאין - יעשו לפני כסדר הזה, ואני מוחל להם. ה' ה' - אני הוא קודם שיחטא האדם, ואני הוא לאחר שיחטא האדם ויעשה תשובה. אל רחום וחנון, אמר רב יהודה: ברית כרותה לשלש עשרה מדות שאינן חוזרות ריקם, שנאמר הנה אנכי כרת ברית. 

“And Hashem passed before him and called out…”
 Rabbi Yochanan said: If the pasuk didn’t spell this out, you could never say it on your own.
It teaches that the Ribbono Shel Olam wrapped Himself like a shaliach tzibbur - a chazzan - and showed Moshe the order of tefillah.
He said to him: Whenever Klal Yisroel sin, let them do this seder in front of Me, and I’ll forgive them.

“Hashem, Hashem”—I am the same One before a person sins, and I am the same One after he sins and does teshuvah.

“E-l rachum v’chanun”—Rav Yehuda said: There’s a covenant cut with these Thirteen Middos, that they’re never returned empty-handed, as it says, “Behold, I make a covenant.”

The Rashba writes that, based on the way it is described, that Hashem wrapped Himself with a tallit like a shaliach tzibbur, we see that it is like a tefillah that needs to be said b’tzibbur. 

שו"ת הרשב"א חלק א סימן ריא

מה שאמרת אם אומר שלוש עשרה מדות ביחיד? 

תשובה מסתברא לי שכל שאומרן דרך תפילה ובקשת רחמים אין נאמרין ביחיד וכדבר שבקדושה הן. כמו שאמרו באגדה נתעטף הקדוש ברוך הוא כשליח צבור והראהו למשה בסיני. ואמר כל זמן שישראל חוטאין כשיגיע עת צרה יעשו לפני כסדר הזה ואני מוחל להם. אבל אם בא לאמרו כך דרך קריאה בעלמא אומר כדרך שאומרין אף האופנים וקראי דקדושה דרך קריאה. 

Shu”t Rashba, Chelek 1, Siman 211

You asked whether an individual is allowed to say the Thirteen Middos on his own.

Teshuvah:
 It seems to me that whenever they’re said as a tefillah—a plea for mercy—they can’t be recited by a yachid, because that’s like a davar she’bikdusha.

As the Aggadah tells us, the Ribbono Shel Olam wrapped Himself like a shaliach tzibbur and showed Moshe at Sinai, and He said: “Whenever Yisroel sin and a time of trouble comes, let them do this order before Me and I will forgive them.”

But if someone just wants to say them as a simple kri’ah, like you’d read Ofanim or other pesukim of kedusha merely as verses, then he may read them that way—just as we read those other texts without a minyan.

….so in practice,

As we wrote, one may only say this tefillah when he is part of a minyan. However, one may say it with the ta’amim, as one would when reading it from the Torah.

There are those who are particular not to stop at the word v’nakeh, but rather finish the whole pasuk, like this:

ה' ה' אֵל רַחוּם וְחַנּוּן אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם וְרַב חֶסֶד וֶאֱמֶת נֹצֵר חֶסֶד לָאֲלָפִים נֹשֵׂא עָוֹן וָפֶשַׁע וְחַטָּאָה וְנַקֵּה לֹא יְנַקֶּה פֹּקֵד עֲוֹן אָבוֹת עַל בָּנִים וְעַל בְּנֵי בָנִים עַל שִׁלֵּשִׁים וְעַל רִבֵּעִים: 

Ado-nai Ado-nai E-l rachum vechanun, erech apayim verav chesed ve’emet. Notzer chesed la’alafim, nose avon vafesha vechatta’ah, venakeh lo yenakeh, poked avon avot al banim ve’al benei banim, al shileshim ve’al ribei’im.

Machay u’Masay, and Maran Di-Vishmaya, 

These tefillot that are written in Aramaic may only be said with a minyan.

First, let’s see the source of this halacha in the Mishnah Berurah, and then we will see the reson for this:

משנה ברורה על שולחן ערוך אורח חיים הלכות ראש השנה סימן תקפא סעיף א

וכן אותם הבקשות שהן בלשון תרגום כגון מחי ומסי וכו' ומרן די בשמיא וכו' לא יאמר כשאין שם מנין עשרה [א"ר]. 

Mishnah Berurah on Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim, Hilchos Rosh Hashanah 581:1

And likewise those supplications that are in Aramaic, like Machay u’Masay, and Maran Di-Vishmaya, and so on, should not be said when there isn’t a minyan of ten (see Eliyah Rabbah).”

One may ask, what is the reason for this? It doesn’t seem to be a davar she’bikdusha?

The answer is based on the Gemara in Masechet Shabbos 12 and Sotah 33: that the angels do not understand Aramaic. When one davens alone, one needs the angels to help bring his tefillos to Hashem, and therefore, we don’t say tefillos that the angels don’t understand when davening alone.

When listening over the phone:

When, like in your case, a person is listening to a minyan that is currently davening, although one would not be yotzei that way, for example, it would not work for Krias Megillah, since there is a halacha of shome’a ke’oneh.

However, in this case, one is not listening to be yotsey; one is listening just to know the correct time to say the tefillah with the tzibbur, therefore listening via the phone does help in this regard and so would be considered as having said it together with the tzibbur.

May all your tefillos and bakashos be heard and answered speedily for the good.

•  Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 965
•   Talmud Bavli, Rosh Hashanah 17b
•   Shu”t Rashba, Chelek 1, Siman 211
•   Mishnah Berurah, Orach Chayim 581:1
•   Talmud Bavli, Shabbos 12b
•   Talmud Bavli, Sotah 33a