Uncircumcised Soviet Union

My boyfriend is from the Soviet Union. His mom is Jewish his dad isn’t. But he is very connected to Judaism and Israel. Main problem is that he is not circumcised. I did not tell my parents out of fear and it’s almost been 2 years. Will a rabbi marry us even if he’s not circumcised? Is he technically not Jewish? Is it ok that I lie to my parents (potential shalom bais)?

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

Having a bris/being circumcised is the most important mitzva for a male to fulfil. This is because it is the identifying feature of a Jew. When a baby has his bris he enters the holiness of the Jewish people. One who is circumcised is saved from the punishments of Gehinnom and one who is intentionally not circumcised has no share in the next world.

Nevertheless, an uncircumcised male is still a Jew as it is our Neshama that makes us Jewish. Anyone with a Jewish mother has a Jewish Neshama.

A person who was not circumcised as a child is still obligated to perform the mitzvot of the Torah just like everyone else. This includes the mitzvah of bris mila itself which an adult man must arrange at the earliest opportunity .

There is no need to lie. It is not his fault that he wasn’t circumcised. If you believe your boyfriend will make a good Jewish husband and run a good Jewish home then you should indeed marry him. Any man committed to his Judaism and to running a Jewish home would want to be circumcised on his own, and should try to do so before the wedding.

An adult bris is performed in a hospital in the presence of both a surgeon and a mohel. The procedure is performed under anaesthesia, there is then the surgical removal of foreskin, cauterization, and stitches. While the surgeon leads the procedure it should be the mohel/rabbi who actually removes the foreskin. A celebratory ceremony can be held right away in the recovery room following the bris including the giving of a Jewish name.

Beis Yosef YD 260, YD 260; Aruch Hashulchan, YD 265:5; Minchat Yitzchak 4:10; Seridei Aish 1:11