Repentance when Hashem is angry

G-d help me! Hashem showed me that He’s very, very angry at me. And truth be told, He’s right. It says about people like me that they can’t repent. And now Hashem is showing me in a very dire way that He’s angry at me. Is it true that I’m lost forever?  

Dear …!

I’m very impressed with you! Most people, when they’re beset by troubles, tend to become exasperated and rebel against G-d. This is because they live with a feeling that they’re owed everything. You, on the other hand, act with wisdom and use G-d’s admonishment to change direction and to reassess the past. The verse “Happy is the man whom Thou instructest, O LORD, and teachest out of Thy law” (Psalms 94:12) talks about people like you!

However, you must remember that the gates of repentance aren’t closed to anyone. There is only one type of people who can’t repent – those who are no longer among the living. But so long as your soul is alive within your heart, you can repent. It’s true that there are things that stand in the way of repentance. But this doesn’t mean that your repentance won’t be accepted; it only means that these things will make it more difficult for you to repent. When you make an effort to repent, the Creator “digs a cavern under His throne of glory” to accept the penitent.

I pray and wish that we all have the merit to reach the exalted level of true penitents.

Maimonides, Yad ha-Chazakah, the Laws of Repentance, 4:6