Weddings: In the Synagogue?
Question
Is it ok to hold a wedding in the synagogue?
Answer
Shalom!
Thank you for your question.
Jewish weddings used to be held in the synagogue sanctuary until it became a distinctly Christian practice to hold weddings in their place of worship. It was then abandoned due to the prohibition of “ b’chukoteihem lo teleichu ,” the prohibition against imitating the ways of Gentiles. This prohibition is especially severe when it comes to non-Jewish influence in ritual matters. (1) The early leaders of the Reform movement actually insisted that weddings be held inside the synagogue sanctuary. This is consistent with their mistaken philosophy that it is commendable to conform to the dominant non-Jewish culture and not be too different.
Another reason why wedding are not performed in a synagogue sanctuary is that it is argued that it is inconsistent with the sanctity and decorum that must be maintained in a synagogue sanctuary. (2) A synagogue sanctuary should be reserved exclusively for prayer and Torah study.
Ashkenazim always hold wedding ceremonies outdoors whenever possible. Holding a wedding ceremony outdoors – under the stars – represents our wish that the Jewish people become abundant like the stars of the heaven, just as God promised Avraham. (3) Some point to the verse “may there again be in the cities of Judea and the streets of Jerusalem the voice of joy and the voice of happiness” (4) as a scriptural source for holding wedding ceremonies outdoors. It is preferable for the ceremony to be completely out in the open, though a wedding ceremony that must be held indoors under an open skylight, is alright and considered as being outdoors. However a closed widow would not be good since one should stand directly under the sky so it would be a sign of blessing that the couple should merit to have off springs as numerous as the stars of the sky.(5)
In Sephardic communities, there is no emphasis on holding wedding ceremonies outdoors. They are regularly held indoors.(6)
Source
1. Chatam Sofer , EH 98; Mahari Assad, OC 38; Maharam Schick, EH 87; Divrei Malkiel 5:205; Ketav Sofer 47; Pri Hasadeh 4:97; Minhag Yisrael Torah , EH 26–66:16, s.v. “Makom hachuppa.”
2. Imrei Eish (Eisenstater) 1:10; Be’er Chaim Mordechai 1:7; Nefesh Harav , p. 257.
3. Rema, EH 61:1; Shulchan Ha’ezer 7:2:1; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 147:1.
4. Yirmiyahu 33:11.
5. Pri Hasadeh 4:97; Shulchan Ha’ezer 7:2:1.
6. OC 391:3; Sdei Chemed , Chatan V’kalla 2.