Giving a Parent a Haircut

Are you allowed to give your father a haircut or is there a problem that you might cause him pain

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

The Torah tell us, “Anyone who wounds their father or mother is to be put to death.” We see from here that it is an especially severe transgression for a child to wound a parent. A wound is defined as causing bleeding – no matter how minimal – and, according to many, it even includes causing a bruise. For example, the Shulchan Aruch rules that it is forbidden for a child to remove a thorn from a parent if doing so will cause the parent to bleed.

As such, is it permitted for a child to give a parent a haircut?

The work Leket Yosher reports that Rabbi Yisrael Isserlein, known as the “Terumat Hadeshen,” would not allow his son to trim his beard due to the concern that he might accidentally wound him while doing so. He felt that even “mechila” (advance forgiveness), should his son accidentally wound him, would not justify the act.

Rabbi Yechezkel Landau, however, claims that a son may give his father a haircut as no less an authority than the Talmud seems to imply so. In a discussion of a case where a child would be liable to pay for wounding a parent, the Talmud concludes that it is a case where a son accidently wounds his father while shaving him. This seems to imply that although it might not be wise for a son to shave his father, as bleeding does occasionally occur, it is nevertheless ultimately permitted.

It seems that both views cited above are correct! If the son is using scissors to cut his father’s beard (or hair), then it is permitted since there is no concern that the son will accidentally injure his father. On the other hand, if the son uses something that could possibly cut his father, such as a blade to shave the back of the neck as is common when getting a haircut, it is prohibited.

The halacha is generally in accordance with the view that it is forbidden for a child to treat a parent if there is a genuine risk that bleeding might occur it would then be forbidden even if the father requests it. However, if one knows he will not injure his father then it would be permitted.

Shemot 21:15;  Bava Kamma 86a; Sanhedrin 85b; YD 241:2,3;  Leket Yosher, Vol. 2, p. 37. Teshuvot Tzlach 30;  Aruch Hashulchan, YD 241:6