Planning a Wedding: Nidda Issues

Dear Rabbi: Please advise when to plan a chuppah this Summer and when to go to mikvah between Omer, niddah, and surgery. I need to get married before my surgery on July 3rd. I could not get married on Lag B'Omer because I was in niddah. I want to get married right after Shavot - Sunday June 16th (preferred), or Friday, June 14th (not preferred). But... My first clean (13th) day is this Friday, May 31st. My next niddah can be up to 4 days off calendar. My next niddah will start between Shavuot Thursday June 13th and Monday June 17th. It means I can go to mikvah between Tuesday, June 25th and motsey Shabbat June 29th. That will push the wedding to close to my surgery. Should I go to mikvah next week and take a chance that I am still not in niddah till after Friday June 14th, or Sunday June 16th? Should I plan to go to mikvah between June 25th -29th and marry just days before the surgery? Having Chuppah after surgery is not an option. What is my best course of actions? Sincerely, Anonymous

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

First of all, allow me to begin with the following: Although it is certainly ideal for a woman to be tehora (pure) at her wedding, a wedding is not to be pushed off in the event, for whatever reason, a woman has become Nidda. As such, be sure you are consulting and getting married through a competent rabbi.

Here are few tips on how to prepare for the wedding and mikva immersion.

1. A wedding should be planned for about 8-10 days after the period is expected to end. This will help ensure that the 7 clean days pass stress-free.

2. A woman who has never had marital relations will want to her wedding for a bit later in her cycle. This is because a woman who has never had relations becomes Nidda after the first act of relation due to the hymenal bleeding. Therefore, it is advantageous to schedule the wedding shortly before the next period is expected in order for the two Nidda periods (hymenal bleeding and menstrual bleeding) to overlap and allow her to become tehora again as soon as possible.

So for example, a woman with a 28-day cycle who usually bleeds for 5 days should plan her wedding between days 15 and 26 depending if she was previously married or single.

A woman is permitted to use pills in order to better ensure that she is not Nidda at her wedding but further direction in that area is beyond the scope of this response.