Close Report from the Day of Death or Burial

This question and answer were automatically translated using our trained AI and have not yet been reviewed by a qualified rabbi. Please treat this translation with caution.
go to original →

Question

A family whose child was kidnapped in Gaza for several months and then received him dead, and buried him when they received him. Experts say he likely died a long time ago. Does the family need to sit shiva?

Answer

If experts say that less than 30 days have passed since the day of death, the family must sit shiva according to all the laws, and on the first day of the report, they do not put on tefillin. They count seven and thirty days from the day of the report. The year is counted from the day of death. If experts say that more than 30 days have passed since the day of death, as he was buried long after the death, the rabbis are divided on whether shiva should be observed or not, and the law follows those who are lenient, that shiva does not need to be observed, but mourning should be observed in a noticeable manner (an act of mourning must be performed, not just refraining from Torah study or work), such as removing shoes for one hour. One who wishes to be stringent and sit shiva may do so, but should put on tefillin on the first day and not neglect Torah study.

Source

It is stated in the Gemara Moed Katan, page 20a: "The Rabbis taught: a close report is observed for seven and thirty days, a distant report is observed only for one day. What is considered close and what is distant? Close - within thirty days, distant - after thirty, according to Rabbi Akiva. The Sages say: both a close and a distant report are observed for seven and thirty days. Rabba bar Bar Hana said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: wherever you find an individual being lenient and the majority being stringent, the law follows the majority, except in this case, where even though Rabbi Akiva is lenient and the Sages are stringent, the law follows Rabbi Akiva. As Shmuel said: the law follows the lenient opinion in mourning. And so on. Rav, the brother of Rabbi Chiya, who was the son of his sister, when he came there, said to him: Is father alive? He said to him: Is mother alive? He said to him: Is mother alive? He said to him: Is father alive? (and Rabbi Chiya understood that both his parents had passed away) He said to his servant: remove my shoes, and he went after him to the bathhouse. From this, we learn three things: we learn that a mourner is forbidden to wear sandals, we learn that a distant report is observed only for one day, and we learn that part of the day is considered as the whole day." And so ruled the Shulchan Aruch, Siman 402, Paragraph 1: "One who receives a report that a relative has died, if the report comes within 30 days, even on the 30th day itself, it is a close report, and he must observe seven days of mourning from the day the report arrives; and he tears his garment and counts thirty days. And the Rema wrote: "from the day of the report" for haircutting and other matters. In summary, the day of the close report is like the day of burial. If he hears from the 30th day and onward, he does not need to observe except for one hour, and so on, and he counts from the day of death, not from the day of the report." The rabbis are divided on how to count the thirty days in a close report - from the day of death or from the day of burial. Since the law of the Gemara is stated regarding one who did not know about the death and burial of a relative and learned about it later. However, if the burial took place long after the death, there is doubt whether to count a close report from the day of death or from the day of burial. For all mourning laws, when burial occurs immediately, begin from the day of burial, but it can be said that only when burial occurs immediately, since the obligation to bury is on the relative, mourning laws do not begin, but in a close report, they count from the day of death. The Shach, Siman 402, Subparagraph 5, wrote: "The Bach and Drisha in Siman 399 in the name of the Maharshal wrote that if one died on one day and was buried on the next, even though the relatives who were at the burial count from the day of burial, as that was the closing of the grave, those who were not at the burial and did not know of the death until the 31st day from the day of burial do not need to observe mourning, as the day of their report is the 31st day from the day of death, and it is a distant report, as for the law of the report, the day of death is primary." And so wrote the Taz, Subparagraph 6, and the Chayei Adam, General 171, Paragraph 6, and so it is implied from the language of the Mishnah Berurah, Siman 548, Subparagraph 48. However, the Shach himself in Nekavot HaKesef, Siman 402, Paragraph 8, wrote: "It requires study, as the Maharshal derived this from the words of Rabbeinu Yerucham [end of 237, b] and other rabbis, and yet Rabbeinu Yerucham himself wrote explicitly in this law the opposite, and in his words in Nativ 28, Part 3 [237, a], a distant report is called when he heard that a relative died, and the report came after thirty days from the burial, etc., and it is clear that they count from the day of burial, and it requires study." And so wrote the Aruch HaShulchan, there, Paragraph 10, and proved it from the words of the Rambam, Mordechai, and Rosh. In practice, the instruction of the rabbis is to follow the day of death, and one who wishes to be stringent may be stringent, but should not be lenient regarding tefillin and the cancellation of Torah study.

Comments

Have an additional question on this topic or need clarification? Leave your comment below. (Please note that the comment will not be published but will be sent directly to the answering Rabbi for review and a private response)

Please sign up or log in to submit your comment

Become our patrners in supporting and spreading the Torah
Help us answer more questions faster and better
Join the mission