Eating Meat and Dairy at One Family Table
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Question
Some of our children cannot eat meat on weekdays, especially not for dinner, and always want to eat dairy. On the other hand, some children enjoy meat for dinner. Therefore, I sometimes prepare a meat dinner, but those who want to sit in another part of the table and eat dairy. Is this okay?
Answer
The sages prohibited (Chullin 103: Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 2) two people from eating dairy and meat together at the same table, fearing that one might take something from the other's plate and taste it unintentionally while eating the other type, thus violating the prohibition of meat and milk. This prohibition applies only if the two people know each other, making it comfortable for them to take something from each other's plate during the meal.
The sages also prohibited arranging dairy and meat foods together on a table designated for eating.
However, there is a way to permit this by making a noticeable distinction between the meat eaters and the dairy eaters. For example, on the half of the table where family members chose to eat meat, a meat tablecloth is spread, and on the part of the table for dairy eaters, a dairy tablecloth is spread, and the difference between the tablecloths is noticeable. In the case of a noticeable distinction, it is permitted to eat dairy and meat together at one table. (Chullin 103: Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 2).
However, several guidelines must be followed in this case:
A. The Rema (Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 2) wrote that it is forbidden to have a shared salt shaker for dairy and meat eaters. This refers to a salt shaker in which bread is dipped. However, it seems that even a salt shaker from which salt is sprinkled is forbidden, as it is touched with greasy hands. It is also forbidden to have a shared sauce, such as a ketchup bottle or a drink pitcher, used by all diners, both dairy and meat, because sometimes they are touched with greasy hands. Care must also be taken not to have a shared serving spoon, even if it is intended only for extracting a parve dish.
B. The Birkei Yosef (Shiurei Bracha Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, S.K. 13) added that care must be taken when cutting a meat or dairy dish to ensure that no splashes land in one of the vessels.
C. The Aruch HaShulchan (Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 10) also wrote that care must be taken not to have two serving bowls close to each other, as it is impossible for a little not to spill from one bowl to another, which poses a serious concern. He added that Jews are holy and meticulous in the laws of meat and milk, and therefore even in the kitchen, a bench is designated for arranging dairy foods and another bench for arranging meat foods. Nowadays, it is customary to have a dairy and a meat countertop.
D. In a house with small children, it is practically difficult to avoid mistakes from a meal in such a manner.
The sages also prohibited arranging dairy and meat foods together on a table designated for eating.
However, there is a way to permit this by making a noticeable distinction between the meat eaters and the dairy eaters. For example, on the half of the table where family members chose to eat meat, a meat tablecloth is spread, and on the part of the table for dairy eaters, a dairy tablecloth is spread, and the difference between the tablecloths is noticeable. In the case of a noticeable distinction, it is permitted to eat dairy and meat together at one table. (Chullin 103: Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 2).
However, several guidelines must be followed in this case:
A. The Rema (Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 2) wrote that it is forbidden to have a shared salt shaker for dairy and meat eaters. This refers to a salt shaker in which bread is dipped. However, it seems that even a salt shaker from which salt is sprinkled is forbidden, as it is touched with greasy hands. It is also forbidden to have a shared sauce, such as a ketchup bottle or a drink pitcher, used by all diners, both dairy and meat, because sometimes they are touched with greasy hands. Care must also be taken not to have a shared serving spoon, even if it is intended only for extracting a parve dish.
B. The Birkei Yosef (Shiurei Bracha Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, S.K. 13) added that care must be taken when cutting a meat or dairy dish to ensure that no splashes land in one of the vessels.
C. The Aruch HaShulchan (Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 10) also wrote that care must be taken not to have two serving bowls close to each other, as it is impossible for a little not to spill from one bowl to another, which poses a serious concern. He added that Jews are holy and meticulous in the laws of meat and milk, and therefore even in the kitchen, a bench is designated for arranging dairy foods and another bench for arranging meat foods. Nowadays, it is customary to have a dairy and a meat countertop.
D. In a house with small children, it is practically difficult to avoid mistakes from a meal in such a manner.
Source
Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De'ah, Siman 88, Paragraph 2).
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