Obligation to Rebuke?
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Question
A guest staying with someone (such as a son-in-law with his father-in-law) notices that the host does not follow certain aspects of Halacha (such as in Kiddush and Havdalah, etc.). Should the guest point this out to the host, or is it better to refrain in order not to offend the host? Thank you very much in advance.
Answer
Shalom Rav
Since in most cases such a rebuke is not effective and causes the opposite effect, it is not advisable to rebuke.
The acceptable way is to study Halacha together without connecting it to a specific action the person is doing, so he does not feel attacked.
Source
Arachin 16b:
Rabbi Tarfon said: "I wonder if there is anyone in this generation who accepts rebuke. If one says to him, 'Remove the splinter from between your eyes,' he will respond, 'Remove the beam from between your eyes.' Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah said: 'I wonder if there is anyone in this generation who knows how to rebuke.'